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May of 2003 at about 6:30 am I was on a job site and was giving my son the details of what needed to be done that morning. All of a sudden I felt very dizzy and the next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital. Since this day I have had several tests and medications etc. Long story short is that I have been told that I have a small avm. It bled and as a result of the bleed I have to be on anti siezure medication for the rest of my life. At first I was told that I had to have surgery to fix the avm, and that we would have to do tests to determine what kind of surgery would be best. After the tests I was told that the avm was very deep in the right side of my brain and that it was approx 1cm in size. I was also told that the chance of the avm bleeding again was a 2-3% chance per year. I was also told that because the avm was so deep in the brain that the risks of damage from surgery were to high. Well 3 weeks later I received a letter saying that they feel that I would be a good candidate for stereotactic radiation surgery. I then met with these surgeons and they have only done approx. 20 each of this size of avm since 1997 between the 2 of them. They feel that I should have the surgery in April of 2004. I am really freaked out about it and don't know what to do. I am a wife and mother of 3 and I am an irrigation tech. my work is very physical. We also do some landscaping and irrigation business and manage a 4-plex. Life is very stressful and busy this time of year. I usually get laid off from work at Christmas and have 2 months off. Part of me would like to wait till Christmas to have the surgery so that I can have more time to learn about it and if I have the surgery to be able to relax and heal better. The other part is scared to death of the avm bleeding again and it being to late. I really really need to talk to someone who has had an avm similar to mine and had the surgery and I need to know how they are doing. Mine is 1cm it is in the right side of my brain and deep and it is close to what controls the motor skills on my left side of my body.